Oh, the joys of teaching English in Japan!

Just a funny story from yesterday. 

Recently, my first year students have been learning the days of the week.  There is even a little song that they learn, though I had never heard the song before in my life until last year.  Anyway, so yesterday in class, we did a word test, so I said days and they had to write the day I said.  To spice things up, I say them in a random order and also mixed in some number review questions.  Here is the conversation:

Me:  " ok...number 6... Thursday" (students stare at me like I am crazy)
I repeat: "Thursday"
one student: "We have never learned that one before!  Is that another day?"
Me: "How many days have you learned?"
Students: "seven." 
Me: "Ok, well there are only seven days in a week, so you have learned this one... Thursday."  At that point, I knew what the problem was but it is fun to play with them a bit.
Students : "No, we have never learned that one!!!  This is unfair!!!!"
Me: "ok, try this... (pronunciation change) Saazuday"
Students: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!   Saazuday!!!"

If you did not get that, let me explain.  There is no "th" sound in Japanese, nor is there that sort of "ur" or "er" sound.  Up until yesterday, the students had never heard a native pronunciation of the word "Thursday."  So, while this is entertaining (and it was, it really was) it brings up a major point of frustration for me.  The JTEs do not have perfect pronunciation.  Not even close.  Except for one... but anyway... there is a major disconnect happening here where the students cannot understand native English and cannot pronounce words correctly because they are rarely exposed to the proper pronunciations.  The school does have CDs they can use when I am not in class, but they do not.  I admit, the CDs are sort of hokey, but, I would rather the JTEs use a hokey CD than teach the kids that "Saazuday" is an acceptable pronunciation of "Thursday."  And when I am in class. they rely on the JTE to translate things I say or on me to speak a bit slower and adjust my English to more "Japanese English" in which you leave out "th"s and replace them with "s" or "z" and you leave out "l"s and replace them with the Japanese "r" sound, etc etc etc.  If these kids ever went to any English speaking country, they would be screwed!

The most frustrating part, at least as far as pronunciation goes, is that they CAN say words properly.  BUT, it is too embarrassing or there is too much peer pressure from the other kids so they do not.  I know that Crystal and Kim (elem ALTs) are working with the kids on sounds, and the kids can say the words beautifully, but if you put them on the spot, they immediately revert back to their Japanese English.  A lot of the problem is the need in Japan to conform.  They have to all fit in together, and if one kid is good at English and stands out, he gets made fun of.  A lot of students one-on-one with me are fantastic!  Perfect pronunciation, they know a TON of vocabulary, but as soon as you put them in class, they just refuse to be good at English.  I imagine it is also frustrating for the ones with good pronunciation to do the communication activities we do in class.  If they speak properly with a lot of their classmates, they will not be understood, so it is easier for them to just use the Japanese English to get by most of the time.  Clearly I am not going to be able to convince most of  these kids to stand out, and thus, I am left in a bit of a bind.  Any suggestions are welcome.

Oh yeah, since I am in a Japan criticize sort of mood anyway...the Japan Post service has implemented a new policy as of yesterday that packages over one pound cannot be mailed to the US.  So... do not expect anything from me anytime soon.  Nice going, Japan.  HOWEVER, you lovely people can still mail things TO Japan!  And I certainly encourage you to do so!!!

this week's funnies

Just a quick post with some funny things that have happened to me in the past few days.

First... this one is me not being good at Japanese at all and reading and choosing my own interpretation for something.  Yesterday for the main course of lunch we had "元気の出るレバー”　  I know...it is in Japanese.  Well anyway, 元気 means like energy or healthy depending on context, and 出る means to go out, or exit.  レバー is liver.  So, in my head, I read that and decided that it meant "healthily taken out of the animal liver."  Well, I was wrong.  Apparently it means "liver that will make you (the eater) healthy"  or "liver that will bring out your energy."  Yeah, quite different.  There were some people amused by my misunderstanding.

Second...I received some love notes of sorts.  We did an activity in class where the students ask me questions, then report the answer to the JTE, and then at the end they have to write a  report about my answers.  This time we talked about my winter break plans and new years in both Japan and America.  At the end of the worksheet, they are supposed to think of 5 questions on their own to ask me that have some relation to winter break or new years or whatever.  Well, a group of boys was asking me things like "Do you have a boyfriend?"  and "How many boyfriends did you have?"  etc etc etc.  Well, you can read the reports below because I took a picture.  I will admit that this pretty much made my day/week/month/year (yeah, forgive me as I shamelessly post these for all to read).  The part in Japanese says "そのうちできるよ”　means "you can do that here, you know!"  I am glad that I have some courageous and creative students.  They make up for all the dunderheads. 

Third...I made my first Japanese pun!!!!!  Ever since Halloween the students have been hounding me asking for candy.  I cannot walk down the hall anymore without at least one kid shouting "Trick or treat!" and then running up to me with open hands expecting candy.  Well, I tell them nicely that Halloween is over and they have to wait for next year.  However, a very persistent group of 2nd year boys came to the English office asking for candy and I told them if they could ask me in English without using "trick or treat" I would give them eacha piece.  Ok...quick Japanese lesson!!!  お菓子 (read okashi) means candy.  and 可笑しい　(read okashii...but really it is the same pronounciation) means funny or strange.  K, so they spend like 5 minutes discussing how to ask me for candy and finally one boy comes up and says "I want okashi please!"  to which I said  "ah... that English is okashii!!"  hehehe.  If you did not get it, that is ok.  I was quite proud of myself and the JTEs in the office at that time were dying, as they have been all week as they watched me deal with students who want candy.

Fourth...today we did the same question/report activity in another class.  We changed the questions a bit, so the ended up asking me about December 31st in America.  I told them that many people go to parties, drink (a lot) and then at midnight, we shout "Happy new year!"  and kiss.  They asked who we kiss and just to keep it simple I said boyfriend or girlfriend.  And then one boy comes up to me and asks me real quietly "lip kiss or French kiss?" 

oh. my. God

Let me tell you about the teacher who sits across from me in the teachers' room...

He is a special ed teacher

He is old (completely gray except his eyebrows)

He smokes (always smells bad, and has a cigarette above his ear half the time)

He slurps his hot drinks and then sighs  (slurp...AH...sluuuuuuuurp...AHHHHH)

He mutters to himself in his 20-year smoker/old man raspy voice (mutter mutter mutter mutter...AH!)

He types with ONE FINGER (tap...tap...taptap...taptaptap...TAPTAP...TAP...TAPTAPTAP...TAP!!!)

He blows his nose really loud EVERY MORNING while just sitting right across from me  (I find this gross...every morning it is a really loud, snotty type of nose blowing. and half the time it takes all my willpower to not gag as I listen.  I should mention that generally speaking, in Japan, it is rude to blow your nose in public.  You are supposed to excuse yourself, or at least turn and face a wall.  grrrr)

Let me tell you about the teacher who sits next to me in the teachers' room...

He is a math teacher  (the one who was giving commentary as he graded tests)

He is messy  (his stuff is everywhere, half the time on my desk, too)

He sits slumped over sideways in his chair (to the point that sometimes I cannot get in to my desk drawers without asking him to move)

He burps (really gurgley burps...I think he has a zombie living inside him that is just trying to escape)

and...

he farts  (ew)

The farting is a new development (I wonder if he ate something)  but let me tell you about last Friday.  He farted very audibly  (cue my face of complete shock) and before I could even really register that it was a fart, he made the most interesting "oooooohhhhh" noise I have ever heard (cue my completely uncontrollable yet must be controlled giggles.  I was shaking from laughter.  I did not know what to do!)

So, between Mr. Mutter and Mr. Fart...every day I find myself very much on edge at times, especially if both are present and are being annoying (as was the case today which prompted this post)  Thankfully, the first teacher I mentioned is not full-time, so he is not always here, and the second teacher is full-time, but spends half his time at various elementary schools, so he is also not always here.

the end.